That was a fantastic article and it’s a very human feeling too which doesn’t always make sense. I’ve felt so envious of many things in my life which I know deep down I wouldn’t be able to handle or understand etc. Thank you for the very kind words about me too. I think what I can cope with in a world I don’t see as threatening because I can shut it down in a few clicks - if that makes sense - is very different to what I can life in reality.
I deal with this as well. I’ve never been an envious person, and I almost always default to support, but it’s hard not to see people who started at the same time as I did get much quicker traction and wonder: why not me?
My solution so far has been to drink heavily.
Wait, wait. No. That’s not right. My solution so far has been to understand everyone’s path is different. And accept that.
Envy is often treated as something we should overcome, but you captured something deeper here.
Sometimes envy is not really about wanting another person’s life. It is a moment where something inside us is asking to be seen. The comparison reveals the places where we still measure our worth through external signs of being chosen.
I have learned that growth is not always about reaching faster. Sometimes it is about becoming strong enough to hold what we are asking for.
There is something very honest about realizing that another person’s path can inspire us without needing to become our own.
You turned a difficult emotion into curiosity, and that is a rare kind of self-compassion.
I love how brave and honest this is Sarah and thank you for being so open about this especially when talking our dear friend here.
What I took from this was learning what triggered these feelings and then allowing us to see the discovery through this which led to a hopeful ending. It's a very human pang and one I've never seen articulated so self compassionately.
I love that you didn't just experience envy. You became curious about it. Instead of trying to become someone else, you used it as a mirror to better understand yourself. That's such a thoughtful and generous way to approach uncomfortable emotions.
Instead of diving down a rabbit hole to figure out why you experienced envy, you can look for the opposite and that is "admiration (respecting what they have without coveting it) and goodwill or kindness (wanting the best for them)" and focus on how you lift him up, and at same time, lift yourself up.
I have had some envy struggles on here too. I can feel envious of others' easy ability to be outgoing. Notes can be hard for me. I am so much more of a one on one person so being a therapist fits me. I am learning to join into the groups and feel accepted but childhood certainly shapes the struggle, being the weird kid, being left out and all the attention being focused on my brother. Then I'm a middle child.... "that way of thinking keeps me away from (as opposed to drawing me closer into) my own inner experience and knowing about life. It invites me away from my own unique journey as a human being." This is where I'm at too ❤️
And I knew who you were talking about from the start of the article 😊
It's taken me a long time to turn inward when I feel any uncomfortable feelings, but addressing my own wounds is more helpful than thinking about everyone else's lives. Slow and steady 😉
That was a fantastic article and it’s a very human feeling too which doesn’t always make sense. I’ve felt so envious of many things in my life which I know deep down I wouldn’t be able to handle or understand etc. Thank you for the very kind words about me too. I think what I can cope with in a world I don’t see as threatening because I can shut it down in a few clicks - if that makes sense - is very different to what I can life in reality.
I deal with this as well. I’ve never been an envious person, and I almost always default to support, but it’s hard not to see people who started at the same time as I did get much quicker traction and wonder: why not me?
My solution so far has been to drink heavily.
Wait, wait. No. That’s not right. My solution so far has been to understand everyone’s path is different. And accept that.
And then drink heavily.
I envy your cocktail protocol! X
I gotta have something I'm good at, right? Plus it brings people to the house, which I like. :)
Dear Sarah,
Envy is often treated as something we should overcome, but you captured something deeper here.
Sometimes envy is not really about wanting another person’s life. It is a moment where something inside us is asking to be seen. The comparison reveals the places where we still measure our worth through external signs of being chosen.
I have learned that growth is not always about reaching faster. Sometimes it is about becoming strong enough to hold what we are asking for.
There is something very honest about realizing that another person’s path can inspire us without needing to become our own.
You turned a difficult emotion into curiosity, and that is a rare kind of self-compassion.
Thank you for such a thoughtful and insightful comment … so very appreciated x
I love how brave and honest this is Sarah and thank you for being so open about this especially when talking our dear friend here.
What I took from this was learning what triggered these feelings and then allowing us to see the discovery through this which led to a hopeful ending. It's a very human pang and one I've never seen articulated so self compassionately.
Thanks Kelly😊
I love that you didn't just experience envy. You became curious about it. Instead of trying to become someone else, you used it as a mirror to better understand yourself. That's such a thoughtful and generous way to approach uncomfortable emotions.
Thank you for your kind words Sheeba!
Very thoughtful, introspective account.
Thank you x
Instead of diving down a rabbit hole to figure out why you experienced envy, you can look for the opposite and that is "admiration (respecting what they have without coveting it) and goodwill or kindness (wanting the best for them)" and focus on how you lift him up, and at same time, lift yourself up.
I have had some envy struggles on here too. I can feel envious of others' easy ability to be outgoing. Notes can be hard for me. I am so much more of a one on one person so being a therapist fits me. I am learning to join into the groups and feel accepted but childhood certainly shapes the struggle, being the weird kid, being left out and all the attention being focused on my brother. Then I'm a middle child.... "that way of thinking keeps me away from (as opposed to drawing me closer into) my own inner experience and knowing about life. It invites me away from my own unique journey as a human being." This is where I'm at too ❤️
And I knew who you were talking about from the start of the article 😊
Thanks for writing this!
It's taken me a long time to turn inward when I feel any uncomfortable feelings, but addressing my own wounds is more helpful than thinking about everyone else's lives. Slow and steady 😉
Karen
Wonderful.. when you can do this you’ve nailed life really!