This is such a common theme working in therapy and probably for most humans. The deep ingrained behavioral patterns such as one of my own "people don't help me" which proved false recently with an abundance of help surrounding the baby shower for my daughter. Building frustration tolerance and capacity to sit with my yucky feelings too.
I could relate to this more than I care to admit. The feeling of 'when's the other shoe gonna drop' has been a constant companion for years, sadly. The inevitable shrinking of joy and happiness because I couldn't fully allow myself to enjoy the good times or celebrate the wins. There's more to achieve! Celebrate later! There's so much awful in the world, you can't be happy! Reading this was an incredibly moving reminder to me to feel the good and trust.
Hi there Desiree - thank you for reading my piece. It was from the heart as, I too, need the reminder to keep seeking/remembering that there really is a lot of ‘good’ out there in the world! x
I really enjoyed reading this. It was very personal to you but I totally could fit myself into this narrative - I liked how you explained where that way of seeing the world came from without making it feel heavy clinical.
The idea of moving from expecting the worst to trusting yourself to cope with whatever comes was very well written - I can't say I'll ever make that full transition myself but what I appreciate about your writing and here too if that you didn't swing to the opposite extreme of "just be positive" – it is always very well balanced and realistic.
I agree that if you’ve got a nervous system on perpetual alert (from childhood trauma) then it’s more a question of ‘working with it’ than expecting that it will eventually just go away - thanks for reading x
Oh please don’t! This time HR might be sympathetic?? … (horrible boss is in Capri for the entire summer?) … maybe, just maybe Substack is your saviour and your nemesis.. you can do this differently ?! You have created good back up for yourself on here ❤️❤️❤️
As regards your phenomenal success on here ( I think you started after me ?🤔) my next essay article is called ‘How to Manage your Soul Crushing Envy of Others’ 😂😂😂
🤣 if you are looking for a co-author I pretty much have that covered in every other aspect of life.
Also this is not a good thing - lol - this is a very clear consistent pattern
Almost everything I do or have done - starts really well - so watch this space - sometime between now and the end of the summer I’ll get sacked or walk out before the disciplinary hearing 😂
This was pretty much my experience too Sarah and I read a newsletter yesterday (Dr Heather England) that made me realise how I still (sometimes) don't feel safe enough to express my needs. Sometimes I talk about death with friends my age and they say I'm 'bringing the mood down' as they're so hellbent on everything being happy! I've done loads of work on myself, but reading about other people's experiences helps me to become aware of how I can continue to better take care of myself right now.
This is such a common theme working in therapy and probably for most humans. The deep ingrained behavioral patterns such as one of my own "people don't help me" which proved false recently with an abundance of help surrounding the baby shower for my daughter. Building frustration tolerance and capacity to sit with my yucky feelings too.
Capacity to sit with yucky feelings… yep … that’s a lifelong challenge for me!
I think that’s the human condition. The more we do it, the quicker they pass. That’s why I named my depression article, Navigating the Yuck…
I could relate to this more than I care to admit. The feeling of 'when's the other shoe gonna drop' has been a constant companion for years, sadly. The inevitable shrinking of joy and happiness because I couldn't fully allow myself to enjoy the good times or celebrate the wins. There's more to achieve! Celebrate later! There's so much awful in the world, you can't be happy! Reading this was an incredibly moving reminder to me to feel the good and trust.
Thank you.
Hi there Desiree - thank you for reading my piece. It was from the heart as, I too, need the reminder to keep seeking/remembering that there really is a lot of ‘good’ out there in the world! x
I really enjoyed reading this. It was very personal to you but I totally could fit myself into this narrative - I liked how you explained where that way of seeing the world came from without making it feel heavy clinical.
The idea of moving from expecting the worst to trusting yourself to cope with whatever comes was very well written - I can't say I'll ever make that full transition myself but what I appreciate about your writing and here too if that you didn't swing to the opposite extreme of "just be positive" – it is always very well balanced and realistic.
Very good - as always.
I agree that if you’ve got a nervous system on perpetual alert (from childhood trauma) then it’s more a question of ‘working with it’ than expecting that it will eventually just go away - thanks for reading x
Thank you 🙏
🫶
Oh please don’t! This time HR might be sympathetic?? … (horrible boss is in Capri for the entire summer?) … maybe, just maybe Substack is your saviour and your nemesis.. you can do this differently ?! You have created good back up for yourself on here ❤️❤️❤️
Larry could be the one who blows it up 😂😂 I feel he is more a loose cannon. No it’ll be fine. What’s the worst I can do 😂🫠
Never trust a cat
How are you finding the heat?
Never trust a human
Cats are loyal 😂😂
Erm … 😂
As regards your phenomenal success on here ( I think you started after me ?🤔) my next essay article is called ‘How to Manage your Soul Crushing Envy of Others’ 😂😂😂
🤣 if you are looking for a co-author I pretty much have that covered in every other aspect of life.
Also this is not a good thing - lol - this is a very clear consistent pattern
Almost everything I do or have done - starts really well - so watch this space - sometime between now and the end of the summer I’ll get sacked or walk out before the disciplinary hearing 😂
This was pretty much my experience too Sarah and I read a newsletter yesterday (Dr Heather England) that made me realise how I still (sometimes) don't feel safe enough to express my needs. Sometimes I talk about death with friends my age and they say I'm 'bringing the mood down' as they're so hellbent on everything being happy! I've done loads of work on myself, but reading about other people's experiences helps me to become aware of how I can continue to better take care of myself right now.
Karen
Thanks for your lovely words Karen … let’s keep gently challenging the taboos! ❤️